This is an old article i just found but its quite funny i think.
Submarine (and You Tube) warfare on the Aegean
Friday, July 25, 2008
By the year 2020, Turkey and Greece will have spent a combined $12-15 billion on potential submarine warfare efforts against each other. Armaments for peace? Maybe
Burak BEKDİL
Who says Turkey's defense procurement system is notoriously slow? True, it took the procurement chaps in Ankara, both in uniform and civilian attire, more than a decade to select a supplier of “urgently-needed” attack helicopters, a contract worth around $4 billion. But it also took them just eight months to select a supplier of six new submarines, another contract worth $4 billion.According to Minister of National Defense Vecdi Gönül the rush to pick up the usual German shipyard, HDW-MFI, for the new contract was a necessity since “members of the committee (that oversees ultimate procurement decisions would be too busy) to convene in the months ahead.”
Sticking to the German tradition:That may be true. The chairman of the committee, Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, may be too much bogged down with efforts to diffuse a fresh wave of political tensions; and Yaşar Büyükanıt, chief of the General Staff, would probably be going through the early days of orientation for the life of a retired officer. What could be more natural than the chiefs of the committee's government and military flanks sealing a $4 billion military acquisition only weeks ahead of an existentialist court ruling about one and of the retirement of the other? The timing of the decision to stick to the German tradition whenever there is a naval shopping list can be a mere coincidence, like minister Gönül explained -- a necessity due to busy schedules awaiting the very important persons in Ankara. But there are more important questions about the submarines. Why would a country spend a fortune on submarines while it still lacks numerous other war toys its foreign threat perceptions dictate are priority, like attack and utility helicopters, anti-missile defense systems, border security systems, unmanned aerial vehicles and a military reconnaissance satellite, along with others that need not be mentioned here? Which threat Turkey aims to tackle when it decides to buy submarines? The simplistic answer to the preceding questions is “because Greece had ordered four new submarines for its navy, so Turkey needs to buy submarines too in order to keep up the naval power balance on the Aegean.” But why did Greece order four new submarines? Because Turkey's submarine inventory had reached 14 platforms and Greece's just stood at eight. Are these seemingly convincing answers really convincing? Why should two neighboring countries spend a combined $12-15 billion on a specific weapons system that they can, in realistic thinking, use against each other only? Because they view each other as a military threat? Probably, yes. But does this mutual threat doctrine fit the political and economic realities, let alone the reconciliatory political rhetoric their leaders often choose? We can always reformulate these questions. All that submarine warfare contingency planning across the Aegean target 2014-15 and beyond, probably covering a timeframe until 2020. But would Turkey not become a full EU member by 2020? How realistic it is to foresee a naval battle – in which submarines fight the enemy navy -- between two member states? If the Turkish membership by 2020 is too uncertain, then we can ask how realistic would it be to anticipate a naval battle between a candidate (or, if the accession process altogether collapses, a former candidate) country and a European Union member state?
Multibillion dollar decisions:Or simply, let's ask ourselves, can Turkey and Greece engage in a naval (and aerial and land) warfare no matter what Turkey's EU status is at any given time? How realistic it is, from a military contingency planning point of view, to expect Greek submarines surfacing near Cyprus to torpedo Turkey-friendly vessels, military and civilian, and Turkish submarines torpedoing Greek-friendly (EU-flagged) vessels around the Mediterranean? The submarine race across the Aegean is not compatible with political realities. The idea may be true for most other weaponry too, but the others cannot be too easily catalogued as “exclusive for an Aegean battle” whereas submarines will dive, hide, surface and refuel with that invisible tag on their bodies. True, the Turks and Greeks are not living in the world of Americans and Canadians. A quick surf on You Tube would reveal tons of incredibly absurd material coming from both sides of the Aegean: the Greek idiot who thinks animating Atatürk as a gay will honor Greeks; and the Turkish idiot who responds in the same language thinking that will protect Atatürk's memory. The You Tube wars between Turkey and Greece reflect a thinking that would fit 4 to 6 years of age and in a retarded children's school. One can despise, yet tolerate them. But if sane, rational men reflect a serious version of that thinking in their multibillion dollar decisions, one comes to suspect foul-playing since we are not talking about a bunch of homophobic racists who fight virtual wars accusing each other and their sacred figures of being gays.
http://www.turkishdailynews.com.tr/article...?enewsid=110766