I was in Brighton a few weekends ago
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Theres some proper fuckin fanny down there.
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| Man gets stuck 'having sex with bench' HONG KONG - A "lonely and disturbed" Hong Kong man had to call police to try and free him after his penis got stuck in a park bench he had apparently tried to have sex with, reports said. Emergency workers took four hours trying to free Le Xing after he attempted to use a hole in the exercise bench to masturbate in a deserted park after dark, the Apple Daily and other papers reported. Eventually they had to take him to hospital with the bench's 2.5-metre-long metal base still attached to him after attempts to free him by draining blood from his penis failed. Doctors said the 42-year-old was lucky to still have a penis after the embarrassing incident, reported in lurid detail by several Chinese-language papers here. Photographs showed rescue workers carrying him to an ambulance on the metal sheet, covered in a red blanket. http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/news/world...8307112731.html |
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| B&D practitioners 'may be happier' An unusual sex survey has found that Australians who enjoy bondage and discipline are not damaged or dangerous, and might even be happier than those who practise "normal" sex. The research showed two per cent of adult Australians regularly partake in sadomasochism and dominance and submission-type sexual role play. And contrary to commonly-held stereotypes, they are not doing so in reaction to sexual abuse or because they are "sexually deficient" in some way, according the study of 20,000 Australians by public health researchers at the University of NSW. "Our findings support the idea that bondage and discipline and sadomasochism (BDSM) is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority," Associate Professor Juliet Richters and her colleagues wrote in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The findings showed that it was more common among gay, lesbian and bisexual people, and that participants were more likely to have been more sexually adventurous in other ways. "However, they were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity and were not significantly more likely to be unhappy or anxious," said Professor Richters, author of the book Doing It Down Under. In fact, men who take part may be happier, with results showing they score significantly lower on a scale of psychological distress than other men. The researchers did not study why this was, but suspect it might simply be that they're more in harmony with themselves because they're into something unusual and are comfortable with that. Professor Richters says the findings go against professional views of BDSM. "People with these sexual interests have long been seen by medicine and the law as, at best, damaged and in need of therapy and, at worst, dangerous and in need of legal regulation," she said. There was also an assumption, mostly among the general public, that people involved in BDSM were sexually deficient in some way, "and need particularly strong stimuli such as being beaten or tied up to become aroused". She said she hoped the results would help change these stereotypes. http://www.theage.com.au/national/bd-pract...80825-41xa.html |
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| '900 dirty calls a week' A Fitzroy man who allegedly made 900 dirty phone calls in a week has been charged with being a serial obscene caller. Police have appealed for further alleged victims of the 52-year-old to come forward after he was today charged with nine counts of using a telecommunication service to menace. The man would allegedly breathe heavily into the phone and refer to himself as Bruce or David during the calls to businesses that he had randomly picked from the telephone book. Police allege he made more than 900 calls between March 28 and April 3. A police spokeswoman said police tracked down the man after nine victims reported recieving the dirty calls. She said the man was suspected of having more alleged victims and appealed to anyone who had experienced similar phone calls to contact police. "All of these phone calls were extremely explicit in nature and very graphic in detail," she said. http://www.theage.com.au/national/900-dirt...80826-42o6.html |
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| It's grim up north: Britain's summer worse than our winter Melburnians basking in the first of spring's sunshine may want to spare a thought for the Brits whose summer this year proved wetter and almost as dark as our winter. - UK's 'dullest' month - Triple rainfall - Melbourne showers forecast According to Weatherzone, Melbourne had 146 hours of sunshine last month compared to a bleak 105.5 hours in the United Kingdom - its dullest month on record. Overall, the British summer managed to provide 67 more hours of sun than our winter but plenty more rain. More than three times the amount of rain fell across the UK than in Melbourne between June and August. Melbourne's June rainfall was less than half the month's average with only 14 millimetres dropping while 44 millimetres dropped in July and August. In Britain nearly 140 millimetres, more than the whole of our winter, fell last month alone. Autumn is looking grim for the Poms, with England today bracing for storms that are expected to deliver a month's worth of rain in one day, according to the Daily Mail. Up to 7.6 centimetres, an average September rainfall, has been predicted to pour down with three flood warnings issued for South Wales. Meanwhile, lighter showers are predicted in Melbourne over the weekend with a top of 18 degrees tomorrow, and 16 on Sunday. Britain's summer got off to a slow start with the mean temperature in June only 0.1 degree higher, 12.9 degrees, than Melbourne's first month of winter but for the past two months managed to soar about five degrees higher. The UK's top summer temperature was 30.2 degrees and its lowest -2.3 degrees compared to Melbourne's winter high of 19.3 degrees and low of 3.2 degrees. http://www.theage.com.au/national/its-grim...80905-4ah6.html |
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| One slab a day limit for Bathurst 1000 Petrol heads will have to survive on a slab of beer a day at next month's Bathurst 1000 car race. Police checkpoints will confiscate "excess alcohol" as motor racing fans descend on Mt Panorama, in NSW's central west, for the October 9-12 event. For the second year running, NSW Police and V8 Supercars have agreed to limit the amount of beer, wine and spirits taken into the racing precinct. Adults can take one case (24 cans) of full-strength beer or one block (36 cans) of light beer each day. Restrictions also apply to one case (24 cans) of pre-mixed drinks or one cask of wine, up to four litres. Combinations are not allowed, and no glass containers are permitted in camping areas or within the race precinct. Police said the limits were fair and would reduce the risk of alcohol-fuelled violence and anti-social behaviour. "These restrictions are very generous," Chief Superintendent Steve Cullen said in a statement today. "Anyone who needs to drink more than 24 cans of beer in a day to have a good time is not welcome. "This is a sporting event unlike any other with 30,000 people living in campsites around the Mt Panorama circuit for up to a week prior to the actual race. "It's important we work hand in glove with event organisers to ensure the safety of racegoers." The measures follow the success of last year's security operation, Supt Cullen said. Police and security personnel will set up checkpoints at every entrance area to the race circuit. Excess alcohol will be stored by event staff and be available for collection the following day. http://www.theage.com.au/national/one-slab...80907-4bco.html |
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| Stripper up for bucks' night rape in Australia A female stripper hired to entertain the guests at a bachelor party raped the best man with a sex toy, a Melbourne court was told Monday. Linda Naggs, 39, is accused of penetrating the man at the party in September. After entering the party cracking a whip, Naggs pleasured the groom before moving on to the best man. According to a witness, the complainant was partly naked and on the ground when Naggs allegedly assaulted him. The witness said the complainant got up, called Naggs an idiot and asked her to leave. A fight broke out between the pair. Naggs has pleaded not guilty to rape. http://www.monstersandcritics.com/news/asi...e_in_Australia_ |
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| Bottoms up! Queen mistakenly sent 2,000 pints of beer The Queen was mistakenly sent 2,000 pints of beer when one of her royal residences was confused with a nearby pub. Royal staff had no record of any such order when a truck turned up at Windsor Castle, west of London, yesterday with 12 barrels of lager ahead of England's football World Cup qualifying match with Croatia in Zagreb. A quick telephone call revealed the mistake - the booze had been destined for the Windsor Castle pub eight kilometres away in Maidenhead in Berkshire county. "We have received mail for the royal household here before but I think this is the first time they have received anything meant for us," said pub manager Misko Coric, who had ordered the beer for the football match. http://www.theage.com.au/world/bottoms-up-...80912-4exz.html |
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| The dumb things tourists say "When do you turn off the mist?" "Is this where Ozzy and Sharon actually live?" "Where are all the hobbits?" The bizarre questions asked by visitors to British tourist spots were revealed Monday. An unidentified visitor to Osborne House, Queen Victoria's retreat on the Isle of Wight, was presumably disappointed when told that former Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne and his celebrity wife were not at home. Similarly, a visitor to Whitby Abbey in northern England clearly had not read the guidebook too closely when he looked at the ruined Benedictine edifice and asked: "Is this Dracula's castle?" In that case, there may have been some excuse, since the abbey is thought by some to have inspired Bram Stoker's 19th century novel. But others -- cited in a list of odd questions asked by visitors to sites run by conservation body English Heritage over the last year -- are more off the wall. "Does my ferret need to be on a lead in this area?" asked a visitor to Kenwood House in Hampstead, north London, while staff at Witley Court and Gardens in western England were flummoxed by the question: "Did Lady Rachel ever de-bone her fish before eating it?" Children provided some crackers. "Where are the monkeys?" asked a young visitor to Cleeve Abbey in southwest England when told that it had once been home to monks. "Is this Clifford The Big Red Dog's tower?" asked a girl at Clifford's Tower in the northern city of York. When told that it was actually a castle, she questioned: "Is it a bouncy castle?" Back at Osborne House, "How long does life membership last?" answered itself, while Kenwood House also seemed to attract more than its fair share of odd questions, including: "Can you tell me where I can see the hobbits?" A misty day at Dover Castle in southeastern England prompted the hopeful: "What time do you switch the mist off?" while one visitor to Whitby Abbey wondered: "Why did they build so many ruined castles and abbeys in England?" http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2008/08/...8306840142.html |
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| Lazy smokers take heart in booze findings DRINKING can be good for your heart — but you have to be a lazy smoker with an aversion to fruit and vegetables to reap the full benefits. Britain's leading researcher on the link between health and behaviour, Australian expatriate Michael Marmot, has found smokers with the worst diets and poorest exercise habits could consume as many as 14 standard drinks a week — the threshold of what is considered harmful under proposed Australian guidelines — and still lower their risk of having a heart attack, stroke or other form of cardiovascular disease. Greater quantities were less beneficial, though still better for those people than being teetotal. Fit non-smokers who ate well increased their chances of falling prey to heart disease by drinking moderately compared with not at all, though their absolute risk was much lower than that of unhealthier peers. Professor Marmot, of University College London, said current health advice that supports moderate drinking from middle age onwards should now be modified to reflect how people may be differently affected. "Most people drink for reasons other than alcohol's health benefits, but the widely publicised (heart protection) benefits may be used to justify or increase their habit," he wrote in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health. "The most (protective) effects from moderate drinking were found among those with the worst behaviour profile." People should still clean up their lifestyle rather than turning to drink, Professor Marmot said. "Stopping smoking, eating more fruit and vegetables and taking more exercise will also reduce heart disease risk." The findings come from a study of British public servants that has followed the health fortunes of 10,000 Londoners since the 1980s. A proposed revision of Australian drinking guidelines suggests men and women should limit their alcohol consumption to 14 standards drinks a week, at most. The guidelines are expected to be formalised by the National Health and Medical Research Council this year. Any benefits occur at considerably lower levels than the safe maximum, according to the guidelines, at around three standard drinks a week. http://www.theage.com.au/national/lazy-smo...80916-4i03.html |
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| Shock after porn discovered on new phone A customer was shocked after discovering 49 pornographic images on a new mobile phone. The former display handset contained 49 images, many of which were pornographic and according to some reports featured a staff member from the store. A spokesman for Dick Smith said they were investigating the allegation and that they had seen only a few of the images on the phone. "We've been shown on a laptop a handful of pictures, some of which are pornographic, none of which clearly show any of our staff.," he said. "There was one image of a staff member but that was in the store and as it was a display phone it's pretty normal the phone would've been used to demonstrate its capabilities - it should've been wiped but that does happen sometimes." "We have asked the customer to bring in the phone so we can look at the actual images on the phone. We obviously take any instance like this extremely seriously," the spokesman said. The woman who bought the phone said children could easily have been exposed to the shocking images. It is likely she will get her money back. http://www.theage.com.au/national/shock-af...80917-4ico.html |
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| St Kilda pub offers free drinks to women who remove undies A Melbourne pub offering free alcohol to women who remove their underwear is one of a handful of maverick venues undermining the hotel industry, the Australian Hotels Association says. The AHA has attacked a promotion by the Saint Hotel in the bayside suburb of St Kilda to give women $50 drink vouchers for removing their underwear in an event called "No Undie Sundie". AHA chief executive Bill Healey today described the promotion as "sexist" and out of step with community standards. "It is unacceptable for a handful of maverick venues to undermine the appeal of our industry by tasteless promotions like this one," Mr Healey said in a statement. "We are continuing to work hard to ensure that all licensed venues promote responsible consumption of alcohol and we believe this promotion is inconsistent with this objective. "The industry's future lies in ensuring the whole community feels comfortable in visiting the local pub." The Saint Hotel was caught up in controversy in June when it employed a dwarf to pour liquor down the throats of patrons. The hotel was today unavailable for comment. http://www.theage.com.au/national/st-kilda...80918-4j23.html |
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Naked swimmer causes chaos at Japanese palace A British tourist in Tokyo caused havoc Tuesday after he swam stark naked in the moat around the Imperial Palace, one of Japan's most sacrosanct sites, television footage showed. Police seized the bald and portly man after a nearly two-hour chase in which he hurled rocks at police and scaled the moat's walls as shocked onlookers snapped photos from their cellphones. The 40-year-old had been touring the sprawling palace in central Tokyo with Spanish tourists, Fuji Television said, although police later said that the man was a British national living in Spain. The man reportedly threw his belongings out of his pockets, stripped naked and dived straight into the brownish waters after saying his bag fell into the moat. "I'm lucky I don't have very good eyesight," an elderly woman told Fuji Television. "I can't believe he did this here, but he probably didn't know the significance of this area," she said. Police approached the man in a small rowboat and tried to throw him a float. But he suddenly began beating the water in a threatening way and then threw stones at the officers, barely missing them, footage showed. After he climbed out of the moat, he took a nearby pole and -- his pinkish body still completely uncovered -- charged at the police officers, who pushed him back into the water. Police seized him immediately as he got out of the water a second time. Japanese in public usually show respect for Emperor Akihito, whose father Hirohito was revered as a demigod until 1945. Most of the centuries-old Imperial Palace is strictly off-limits to the public except on the Emperor's birthday and New Year's Day when the imperial family waves from the balcony to cheering crowds. But the peripheral area is popular among Tokyo residents for dating, jogging or enjoying lunch when the sun is out. http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2008/10/...3145399556.html |